Bangman's View

www.gburgallstars.com is back!

2008-08-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

Big announcement today... the famous website www.gburgallstars.com has been back for about a week or so (with a much more mature and sophisticated look), and today I have signed a contract to return to the site as a writer. Many of you remember my work from the old Gburg All-Star site (the famous celebrity lookalikes, and AIM profile articles), and it's something I will try to re-create this time around. I'd like to thank those fans that have been following my writing since my days on the Inside The Squared Circle website, and hope that you all continue to read my new work.

Famous Redskins Fans

2008-07-17T18:33:00.000-07:00

Here are some pretty famous fans of the Washington Redskins:

- Matthew McConaughey (huge star)

- Sugar Ray Leonard (former boxing champion)

- Dale Earnhart Jr. (NASCAR driver)

- Ron Jeremy (Porn star)

- Byron Leftwich (NFL Quarterback)

- Drew Bledsoe (Former NFL quarterback)

- Jim Brown (Football analyst/host)

- Damon Wayans (Comedian/actor)

- Wanda Sykes (Comedian/actress)

- Richard Petty (Racecar Driver)

- Keenan Ivory Wayans (Comedian/actor)

- David Aldridge (Sports reporter)

- Leanne Tweeden(Model/television personality)

- Ronald Reagan (Former U.S president)

- Richard Nixon (Former U.S president)

- Darrell Armstrong (NBA player)

- Sean Astin (Rudy)

- Me (Really famous)

- Craig Biggio (MLB player)

- James Kleinsasser (NFL tight end)

- Larry King (Talk show host)

- Big Tigger (Radio personality)

- Cristopher Meloni (Stabler from Law and Order: SVU) Huge man-crush on this guy

- Tim Legler (Former NBA player)

- Ben Stein (Actor/political advisor)

- Scott Van Pelt (Sportscenter anchor)

- Tiki Barber (Former Giants running back)

- Hootie and the Blowfish (except Darius Rucker)

- Charles Gibson (Good Morning America)

- Ronde Barber (Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback)

- Oliver North (Political figure)

- Connie Chung (Television personality)

- Maury Povich (Television personality)

- Gene Hackman (Actor)

- Jerry Stackhouse (NBA player)

- Julius Peppers (Carolina Panthers defensive end)

- EB, JP, and Cakes (Radio personalities “Junkies”)

- Sandra Bullock (Actress)

- Denny Hamlin (NASCAR driver)

- Manny Ramirez (MLB player)

- Nathan Bergman (lead singer LIONIZE)

- Paul Tagiliabue (former NFL commissioner)

- Rachael Ray (Food network)

- Julius Jones (former Cowboys/current Seahawks running back)

- Jim Lampley (Boxing commentator)

- Thomas Jones (N.Y Jets running back)

- Anthony Anderson (Actor)

- Brad Johnson (Dallas Cowboys quarterback)

- Ebeneezer Ekuban (NFL player)

- Ryan Zimmerman (MLP player)

- Anthony Clark (Greg from Yes, Dear)

- Hurley (From LOST)

- Carmelo Anthony (NBA player)

- Dre Bly (NFL player)

And many more. Jump on the bandwagon now, before we win another Super Bowl.

Why I'm better than most guys

2008-07-06T19:42:00.000-07:00

I thought I would take some time to tell you why I am better than most guys out there. Now wait… I know most of you are thinking “I already know why you’re better!” but you may not know every reason, so I’m just gonna shine the light on a couple of quick facts. If you feel you might get offended then do not continue reading.

#1) I make over 50,000 a year. I make this amount in 10 months. I’m also off on snow days and Jewish holidays.

#2) I have a relevant college degree. Having a college degree already puts you above people that don’t have one, but in many cases a person’s degree is not relevant. By that I mean they can’t get a decent job with the degree they have. Sure it took me 7 years to get my degree, but I also worked full time for 2 years during college and took 1 semester off while taking only 2 classes for 2 other semesters. I’ve also earned enough credits to put myself on a higher pay scale when I started my job, hence my starting salary of over 50k.

#3) I am not/have never been in the military. I think it’s great that some people join the military, but I also view it as sort of a cop out. Almost as if the people couldn’t handle real life so they left only to come back a couple years later and be in the same position they were in when they left. Maybe if you went to college off the bat, you wouldn’t be a 24 year old freshman. I’m sure plenty of people have their reasons for joining, and if so…great job, I’m very happy for you.

#4) I don’t sell cell phones at the mall. Sure you dress up for work, but does it really matter? I don’t have to rely on selling sidekick III’s in order to have a “good week.”

#5) I don’t work at a restaurant/tend bar. My parents had a restaurant for about 20 years and they lived a tough life. They were there from the time it opened to the time it closed. They had to worry when their lease was up and the rent was raised, etc. It’s not a good life, and I have great hours.

#6) I’m not a server. This is probably one of the most tiring/frustrating jobs, and doesn’t really pay well. So you made $165 on a Friday night…you also lost your Friday night, and had to literally serve people. I’m a grown man, I don’t serve anyone…and I don’t rely on others generosity to make a living. I also hate it when “servers for life” complain about the service at other restaurants and then discuss how they would do it better…F off.

#7) I’m pretty funny. You might get offended by some of the things I say, but a lot of what I say is pretty funny (especially if you know me). I’m pretty entertaining to be around. I don’t know many people that wouldn’t want a fun filled life with me.

#8) Also coincides with the number of inches I’m packing if you were to round it to the nearest inch. I think I’ve said enough with that one.

#9) I look alright. There are plenty of things wrong with me (I will get to that later), but overall I’m alright. The intangibles shoot me up the ratings scale though. I’m also a shade under 6 feet tall, which is just about perfect. I’ve never really met a girl I wanted to bang that thought I was too short, and I’m definitely not too tall for anyone so there it is. I’m pretty well built too…nothing too crazy, but fairly well built.

#10) I come from a good family/loving home. My parents are still together (which statistically means my chance at a failed marriage is much lower), and my family is close. I’m also Greek and was going to give that it’s own category cause it’s much better than being from many different other places, but I will just add that to this.

#11) I don’t do drugs. I don’t smoke weed (I have done it a couple times in the past). I don’t do cocaine or shoot anything up (never have). I don’t take steroids (I have purchased them before, but I never ended up taking them cause I’m a vagina). I barely drink (I will have a couple drinks when I’m in the mood, but that is rare). I don’t smoke cigarettes (I’ve never even taken a puff).

Now a lot of you are already “hating” and are probably thinking of all the things that are wrong with me, so I will save you the hassle and go through everything myself.

#1) I have a large nose. It’s pretty wide. There are not bumps or hooks or anything like that…it’s kind of like a white version of 50 cent’s nose. Something like that… I could fix it if I wanted to, but I feel nose jobs are very noticeable and make people look stupid for life (like this one Persian waitress at Mama Lucia’s on Shady Grove).

#2) My hairline is receding at the temples. Both sides are going back. They started early, when I was about 20, but have stabilized so it looks like I will have hair for a while. I could also fix that, but I am not interested in doing so right now.

#3) I live at home with my parents and I’m 25. I also don’t spend money on almost anything. I’d be pretty confident in putting my savings account up against most peoples. I’m also an only child and will be inheriting everything, which may not be millions, but does include two homes in Greece and a good chunk. I’m hoping that does not happen for a very long time though, and we can still put those homes in Greece to use ya dig???

#4) I don’t have abs. It’s not too big of a deal, and I haven’t had them since I was about 14. Maybe one day I will have them (hopefully by next summer), but let’s be real… I don’t see it happening. I’m not fat by any means, but I don’t have visible abs.

That’s all folks…TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES

Facebook Observation

2008-06-29T01:06:00.001-07:00

Currently, I’m at an age where a lot of my friends and acquaintances are getting engaged/married. As many of you know, I’ve been forced to stay inside the house for the last week, so I’ve had plenty of time to mess around on Facebook. During this past week I have noticed something about a lot of people I know that are taking the next step in their relationships.

Through the years I’ve come across many of my facebook friends profiles and have seen that they are involved in relationships. In many cases I noticed that the girl is a lot better looking than the guy is (I am not saying it is impossible for both members of the relationship to be good looking). As I'd glance at a couple pictures I'd wonder why she’s with him, and immediately assume I can bang the girl since I feel I’m better than the guy she is with. That’s not my point…

So I’ve been noticing all these people getting engaged and married, and rarely is it to the person they were with a couple months/years back. The girl has now traded up and immediately moved forward with her relationship to this better looking guy. This tempts me to see what happened to her old (and much uglier) flame. Assuming I know the ex, I look at his profile and in most cases see that he is with a girl that is a lot closer to his level, or just completely single. Usually these guys act a lot more affectionate with their new/ugly girlfriend. They talk about how much they love and miss them, and try to advance the relationship much faster than their previous and more desirable one. Sometimes it hurts my heart, but usually I just let out a light chuckle and think to myself how bad this guy must feel for fucking that one up. Sure he was probably tired of banging her, but knowing that she banged a whole bunch of better looking dudes after him and has now chosen to be with another one for the rest of her life must be pretty devastating.

Just something I noticed…hope it doesn’t happen to me!

Afrin Addiction

2008-06-01T07:48:00.000-07:00

I’ve heard stories of people getting addicted to nasal spray, but I never thought it could happen to me. Guess what folks? It’s real…it’s damn real.

I’ve had allergies for as long as I can remember. They usually start in late April/early May and run well into the summer, usually stopping sometime in early late June/early July. I used to take Claritin-D, but it seems as if my system became immune to it because it no longer helped. Last year I discovered a nasal spray called Zicam. It worked wonders, allowing me to sleep without any congestion. When the symptoms began this year, I quickly headed to CVS and purchased a bottle of Zicam. It was working well (though no longer for the entire 12 hours), and I was fairly satisfied. When my bottle ran out and I returned to the store, I saw a product called “No Drip” Afrin Severe Congestion Nasal Mist. See, the only problem I had with Zicam is that the spray was disgusting and dripped down the back of my throat or even out of my nose soon after I pumped it in. It was not a big problem, but knowing that it can be eliminated nudged me towards buying the Afrin. As soon as I pumped in the mist, the cool menthol air filled my nasal passages and within seconds relieved any congestion I had. In all honesty I can say that I have never taken a breathe of air as clear as when I was on Afrin.

Things were going great, I had almost no symptoms from the allergies, I was breathing better than ever, and I found my savior…Afrin. Luckily, I decided to read the box carefully after about 5 days. There was a label warning users not to continue for more than 3 days. It had barely been 5 for me, so I wasn’t too worried, but I did decide to look at what may happen to someone if they were to continue use past the allotted time. I saw many horror stories from people with an “Afrin addiction.” Some people claim to have been addicted since the 70’s, with other claims ranging from a couple months to several years. No way could this happen to me…

I took what I thought would be my last pump of Afrin at 11:00am on Monday morning. Since I had read of the trouble I might be getting myself into that afternoon, I decided I would no longer use Afrin. By 8:00pm I began to feel slightly congested. I didn’t think much of it, and made my way over to my computer. By 10:00pm, I could not breathe out of my nose. When I would swallow my ears would pop, and when I would blow my nose the mucous would immediately replace itself.

I scrambled around the internet and read about what is known as the “rebound effect.” It occurred once you stopped taking Afrin (if you used it for more than the 3 days). The rebound effect consisted of your nasal passages pretty much shutting down, and not allowing any air to get through. The reason for that is because the Afrin was used to constrict the blood vessels in your nose so that the passages can get larger, allowing more air to get through. Once the Afrin was no longer in your system, the blood vessels grew larger than their original size, making it seem like mucous was blocking your passages. Though there was not anymore mucous in your nasal cavity than before, the small size of the passages made it nearly impossible to breathe out of your nose.

I read stories of people going cold turkey, and suffering for up to 3 weeks before their nasal passages returned to normal and they were able to have a good nights sleep again. I also read stories of people weaning themselves off of the Afrin by filling the bottle half way with Saline solution and slowly lowering their dose of Afrin, and increasing the Saline. The second option could also take weeks, and since I was only 5 days into my “addiction” I decided I would go cold turkey.

Midnight came and went, and there was no hope of me getting any sleep. It was now 2am I had to wake up at 6 for work. I filled my Afrin bottle halfway with a saline spray I had purchased and pumped a couple times into each nostril. The relief was not as great as when the Afrin was not watered down, but it was enough to allow me to get to sleep 10 minutes later. When I woke up I headed straight for CVS. I purchased Sudafed, Claritin-D (which had been ineffective for me last year), and a neti-pot (a pot used to clean out your nasal passages by pouring water in through one nostril and having it come out of the other). I used those all day and was able to get by without suffering the congestion I had the night before. I was able to sleep that night, and when I woke up I was no longer suffering. I continued to use the neti-pot and one 24 hour Claritin-D a day, and stopped taking Sudafed. It is now Sunday morning, and I no longer use the neti-pot or the Claritin. I have started taking a prescription spray called Veramyst (non-addictive), and a pill called Xyxal, which should eliminate any future problems I may have.

P.S

About 95% of the Jewish people I know go to an allergist. Out of all the other people I know, I would say less than 20% go to an allergist. I don’t know why that is, but I just found it interesting. I got my medicine prescribed by my primary care physician, not an allergist in case you were wondering.

Whiskey and Cigarettes

2008-05-22T12:55:00.001-07:00

Sometimes when I take a pill (Tylenol, allergy medicine, etc.), I pretend whatever I am drinking it with is alcohol. When I swallow it, I close my eyes and act like it’s so good…just like in the movies.

I have never smoked a cigarette in my life…not even a puff. I have never even put a cigarette in my mouth jokingly. Personally, I find it trashy. Both of my parents have smoked in the past (my mom still does), and I just feel that it is disgusting. When I see girls do it outside of bars I don’t even want to look at them anymore. I know a lot of them think that its either helping them lose weight, or keeping them slim, but its not. A lot of my friends (who do not smoke), ask people for cigarettes when they are at a party or outside of a bar, and I have no idea why. They stand in the cold and puff on a cigarette as if it is cool, but it really isn’t. What classy girl would look at them and think, “Wow! Those guys out there smoking are really cool!” None would. The only girls that might find it attractive are the ones that are out there doing it themselves…and most of the times those girls are trashy. Stop smoking. Go get a college degree instead of waiting tables, snorting coke, and spending half of the $84 you made that night at another bar down the street that same night. Oh also, if you’re a server and then go out and complain about how bad servers at other restaurants are, it doesn’t make you a good server…it makes you annoying.

This was not intended to offend anyone. This was intended to let you know how I feel. If you feel that you fall into this category, I do not want you to come to me with excuses as to why you are this way. I would rather you take this opportunity to better yourself and not worry about what I think. I’m so controversial.

Words

2008-05-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

I hate when people say/write the following words/terms and I don’t really have a good reason for feeling that way. I just find them stupid, and since I am always right, they are.

Douchebaggery

Debauchery

Chicanery

Shit show

Girlies

Chillaxin

I am away from my computer

Bro

Moco

Fry (“Ohhh you got fried”)

From this point on if you use them, you’re admitting you’re gay.

Prostitution and Goldfish

2008-05-02T12:19:00.000-07:00

By now most have you have heard that District Heights mayor James Walla Jr. has been charged with soliciting a prostitute. I don’t think soliciting a prostitute should be illegal. I feel it’s kind of like buying stolen merchandise from the street. You know it’s wrong and you shouldn’t do it, but it’s already been stolen and you’re just the one buying it. It was the thiefs decision to steal the merchandise and if you weren’t going to buy it…someone else was. What sucks about this guy is that he was caught trying to pick up a MALE prostitute. Not even a tranny…a straight up dude. Try explaining that one my man.

The next pet I get (probably a gold fish from the fair), I am going to name Goldberg. One would think that I am naming it after the famous wrestler with the same name, but I am not. I’d be naming it after the famous Mighty Ducks goalie. If it does turn out to be a goldfish the name would be even more fitting cause of the whole gold theme.

Oh also, I would like to add that I would never endorse or condone prostitution. I just don't think it should be illegal. You know...kind of how abortion is RIGHTFULLY legal. HAHAHA eat that pro-lifers!

Lil Wayne

2008-04-24T17:32:00.001-07:00

Best rapper alive... I mean he eats other rappers. That shit's pretty crazy. He actually eats them.

Let me get to my point. I have been a bigger Lil Wayne fan for a longer time than just about all of you. Sure people have listened to Lil Wayne before me, and i'm sure people love and download/buy more Lil Wayne songs than me currently. I, on the other hand, bought his debut album "The Block is Hot" towards the beginning of my senior year and even remember my good friend's girlfriend singing "the block is hot, the block is hot...ha ha" in the most annoying, white girl way you can probably say those words. I'd bump Loud Pipes as i'd enter the food court parking lot at Montgomery mall (I still do the same). I'd try to find my own personal Kisha for my friends and I to use and abuse (if you don't know who Kisha is you're clearly not a fan...we found plenty). Respect Us became the anthem in my child development class, as i'd bring it in and play it everyday for the young children to enjoy (explicit version of course). At the time I was a little more into Juvenile, but I always viewed Lil Wayne as the catchiest and the one with the most potential (If you weren't on Juvenile's nuts at this point you were probably riding BG's dick because of Bling Bling).

Senior year is winding down and I buy the Big Tymers album "I Got That Work." Before I leave for greece that summer I play Get Your Roll On non-stop. I forget the cd at home and come back to see that #1 Stunna is one of the hottest songs of the summer. Naturally, it is played non-stop through the start of my longggg tenure at Montgomery College. "Boss B, slow down in the jag you lost me" became a catch-phrase for me, and I got many people saying blucka-blucka as well. It's winter time now...time for Wayne's new album "Lights Out." This album is Wayne's poorest selling album (mainly because of the retarded first single Get Off The Corner), but the song Shine really catches my attention...skirtttttttttt on 22's. I get little private school girls in DC listening to Shine and wanting it on their newest Dave Matthews band infested cd's. This cd also contains the first mention of the SQAD (pronounced squad) on the song Fuck Wit Me Now. Things go quiet for a while, but just as the summer of 01 comes around, I get a hold of a Lil Wayne mixtape called 10,000 bars. It's pretty much Wayne rambling over some of the hottest beats of the times, but it's not bad at all and you can tell that this guy has more talent than occassionally pretending to be Jamaican and using terms like "wobbely wobbely." Soon after SQ4 drops, and it's HOT. Wayne absolutely rips it in a completely different style. He shows hisversatility with his wide range of vocabulary, switching of styles, and tremendous word play. From then...it's elementary. The SQ mixtapes are the only music I play in my car for about 3 years. I buy 500 degreez and play it at work, getting my persian friend hooked and indian manager into it. The effect continues, but people still scoffed when I mentioned that Wayne was the best rapper out. Then comes Tha Carter...Wayne's getting noticed. Carter II and he's the best rapper alive. 48 different mixtapes/Like Father Like Son and he is liked so much by everybody that a lot of people hate on him...really badly. He now can put shit like Lollipop out and have the whole world listening to his bullshit that probably showcases about 3% of his talent. People continue to hate, but that's just a sign of arrival...or dominance. All cause of me. Your welcome Wayne.

Random things

2008-04-17T03:48:00.000-07:00

So the pope is visiting and it's called the Papal visit, but to me that sounds wrong. Shouldn't it be the Popal visit? That sounds better...more correct. Unless Papal means something I don't know about. Either way, i'm going with Popal.

I was in the mood for hotcakes from McDonalds yesterday so before work I decided to stop by. I go to the drive-thru and when I get to the little machine it says: "credit-card machine" is not "working." First off, it sucked balls because I was stuck in line without any cash, and managed to get some change together to buy an iced coffee that I didn't even want. Secondly, why the F was "credit-card machine" and "working" in parenthesis??? Was this so-called credit machine really...not working??? In my head I was imagining the immigrant and/or high school drop out that wrote it and got mad. I get mad at things like that, I don't know why. Not to the point of it ruining my day, but I actually think about it and then take a couple minutes out of my day (such as now) to write about it.

Have you ever heard when fat people say "I can lose weight, you always gon be ugly!" in response to being called fat? Well I hate to break it to you porkchop, but if you could lose weight without the help of a rubber band like object decreasing the size of your disgusting stomach, you would have already done so.

I'm going to get hotcakes, but I still don't have cash. Oh and i'm 98% sure the guy that works at the Montgomery Village McDonald's at the drive-thru in the mornings is gay. He has a gay mexican accent (not just a regular one) and has unnecessarily brushed his hand against mine when I had him my card/money (I've had about 5 experiences with him because I go to McDonalds in the morning for coffee because I am too fat to park and walk out of my car and into 7-11). I can lose weight...you're always going to be ugly.

Ohhh really quick, last thing. How RIDICULOUS are those people that walk down the street/in the mall/etc. rapping to themselves, pretending to box/fight, or dribbling a fake basketball in their hands with their fists closed as they pretend to dribble. If I was to pretend to dribble I would at least try to be realistic with it and have my palms open. My psalms open. haha Psalms.

The End.

The Ultimate Tribute

2008-02-26T18:42:00.000-08:00

The ultimate tribute other than tattooing something on your body has to be putting it in your profile.

- Someone dies...put it in the profile.
- Someone has cancer...put it in the profile.
- Like a certain team...put it in the profile (you can even include their record to show you're a die-hard fan!).
- Someone said something you find funny...put it in the profile.
- Love your significant other...you get the picture.

I'll admit i'm guilty of doing it a bit. I have a letter in my profile that actually represents my girlfriend. Pretty awesome of me to include her in my profile...I mean it IS the ultimate tribute.

Literature

2008-02-12T20:51:00.000-08:00

Literature: Writings in which expression and form, in connection with ideas of permanent and universal interest, are characteristic or essential features, as poetry, novels, history, biography, and essays.

To me, literature is the stuff Shakespeare wrote. Old boring books also fall under "literature" in my mind, though I don't find Shakespeare boring.

Anyways, I used to work at a gym. Peple would come in to inquire about membership rates and things of that sort. On their way out, they would ask for literature they can take home with them. I always wanted to answer with "I don't think Shakespeare wrote anything about the YMCA in Montgomery Village, but I do have a PAMPHLET for you cockface." I mean why the F would you ask for "literature." You can ask for written information, a packet, a booklet, a paper, etc., but "literature"??? Why??? It doesn't make you sound intelligent, it makes you sound like somebody that will have no success in the gym. Literature...get the F out of here.

I voted for Obama today and he won the Maryland primary. Do you think it's a coincidence that I made my endorsement public this morning and he won tonight? I think not. I am pretty much taking credit for his sweep of the Potomac...people love me.

Random Thoughts 1/9

2008-01-09T17:39:00.000-08:00

White people hate women. Black people hate women. White people hate black people. Black people dont hate black people. Barack wins.

Do you know anyone between the ages of 18-30 that doesn't know the words to the Fresh Prince theme song?

I just saw Bridge to Terabithia...boy is it sad. I remember reading the book back when I was like 9, but the movie is pretty good and not as "Narnia/Harry Potter" as you would think.

I'm pretty excited about two of my favorite shows coming back...LOST, and Jericho. Originally LOST was supposed to be like 24 episodes in a row because of the long break they took, but because of the writers strike there are only going to be 8 new episodes and then yet another break.

Joe Gibbs retired this week. I was one of the few that still believed in Gibbs until that Buffalo debacle. After that, I wasn't so sure anymore. He finished on a high note though, but it was time for him to go. The logical choice would be Gregg Williams. Not much would change with Williams at the top, and we would probably get to see Al Saunders true offense...or would we. You see, as much as people want Gregg Williams to be the new head coach in Washington, his record as a head coach is merely 17-31. He never made the playoffs in his three years in Buffalo and was known for his very conservative calls offensively (even more conservative than Gibbs II). If we want to remain around .500, then let's promote Gregg Williams. If we want to win then let's bring in a proven commodity that is not nearing 70... Bill Cowher is available. He wants to stay close to his home in North Carolina, and I'm sure he loves money. It may not make us a contender next year, but it will definitely be better than Gregg Williams keeping things as they are unless he gives full control of the offense to Al Saunders, which I don't see happening. We need a big, positive change, and that change can only come from a proven NFL coach. Give Cowher anything he wants...there's no cap for the coaching staff.

Christmas Eve

2007-12-24T15:02:00.001-08:00

Ice Cream

I don’t really like Coldstone. I have always been a Baskin Robbins guy. Ever since they used to serve their ice cream in a little baseball helmet when I was a little kid, I was hooked. Once I got old enough to order more than one scoop, I started getting the Banana Royale. I love Banana Royale’s because unlike Banana splits, they are served in a tub like container instead of that long boat like container that the split is served in. I usually get Rocky Road and Jamoca as my two scoops, but sometimes I replace Rocky Road with Mint Chocolate Chip because I don’t feel like eating any nuts. I like hot fudge, whipped cream and a cherry on top. It is perfect that way. If I have to go to Coldstone I usually get the Birthday Cake Remix. It tastes really good. The only other thing I would ever get at Coldstone is a flavor called Coffee Lovers Only. I like coffee, but I don’t love it…I guess I’m kind of sneaking by on that one.

Fast Food

When I was younger, I would always rank fast food restaurants in my head. McDonald’s would always come in first and second place would always be a toss up between Roy Rogers, Burger King, and Wendy’s. I had so many of the Happy Meal toys from McDonalds, but the ones that stick out in my mind most are the beach toys (beach ball, shovels, bucket, etc., and the Halloween buckets they used to give us. I also used to always dip my chicken nuggets in honey, but I haven’t done that in years. Currently my favorite is the Whopper extra value meal (I’m not sure what meals are called at places other than McDonald’s so I am sticking with extra value) at Burger King, but I rarely ever go because I am aware that the meal has about 1,400 calories (barely more than a Chipotle burrito). I hated Chipotle at first, loved it for about a year, but am completely sick of it right now. Sometimes I get in the mood to eat Taco Bell or KFC, but McDonald’s (Big Mac’s in particular) is the best.

Kevin Federline…he comes tight with every rhyme.

People on TV you may not know are dead

2007-11-08T16:45:00.000-08:00

I’m the type of person that likes to look things up on IMDB. That hobby has led to the discovery of a lot of dead TV stars that I never knew were dead. I’m gonna go down a list of about 10 of them and maybe some of these will be news to you.

Peter Boyle (the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond): He has been dead for about a year now. I heard about it when it happened, but he’s on TV almost everyday, so that’s a little weird.

John Ritter (Jack Tripper from Three’s Company): He’s one of my favorite TV characters of all time, but unfortunately he died 4 years ago.

Earl Hindman (Wilson from Home Improvement): We only got to see about a third of his face on Home Improvement (I always want to call the show itself Tool Time), but Wilson died of lung cancer back in 2003.

Glenn Quinn (Mark from Roseanne): He was the guy that married Becky that always used to wear the leather jacket when he first came on the show. Died of an overdose about 5 years ago.

Lane Smith (He played the chief in Lois and Clark and also played the dad in the Paulie Shore classic “Son in Law”): Poor guy died a couple years back of Lou Gehrig’s disease. In case you still don’t know who he is, he played the dickhead that used to coach Gordon Bombay from the Mighty ducks when he was little.

Danny Pintauro (Jonathan from Who’s The Boss?): Well he isn’t dead, but he is openly gay so that may be just as bad…just kidding! It’s his choice and we should respect it…even though it was obvious since he was about 8 and a half.

Don Knotts (Mr. Furley from Three’s Company and Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show): Who didn’t love Mr. Furley. That man had the best suits ever. He was 82 when he died so he lived a long life, but I still thought I would add this one.

Jim Varney (Earnest from all of the Earnest movies): My favorite Earnest movie was Earnest Goes to Jail. Earnest died over 7 years ago from lung cancer.

Merlin Santana (Romeo from The Steve Harvey Show): He played the ever so cocky best friend of Bullethead on a show that not many of you may have seen. Got shot in the head by his ex girlfriend about 5 years ago.

Mark Curry (Mark Cooper from Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper): Relax…Mr. Cooper didn’t die. He was even on The Drew Carey Show for a while before it got cancelled, but just last year our old friend Mr. Cooper was involved in a house explosion that he apparently caused himself because he had “lost the will to live.” Fortunately, he survived and is now enjoying life with his friends and family.

Football Fans

2007-11-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

So at work I deal with a lot of younger kids (ages 11-14) and at some point have discussions with them about football and their favorite teams. Some are Redskins fans like me, some are Ravens fans, some are Cowboys fans, but most are Colts/Patriots “fans.” Anyone you meet nowadays that is a fan of the Colts or Patriots can also be referred to as a Richard-riding fan of a successful team. Frankly, it’s annoying.

Common sense would tell you that if you have grown up and/or lived in this area for a while, your favorite team should be the Washington Redskins, or if you are young…POSSIBLY the Ravens (because if you are my age and like the Ravens, then who the hell did you like before they were around???). So pretty much anyone would agree that it is annoying and convenient to be a Colts/Patriots fan right now. These are the same types of kids as the friends we have who are fans of the Dallas Cowboys.

You see the 1990’s were dominated by a group of losers known as the Dallas Cowboys (who happen to be the rivals of the local Washington Redskins). At the time it was very convenient to like that team because they were winning Super bowls left and right. That is how the current Cowboys fans in the area have come about…kids that were Richard-riders in the 1990’s. Most of these people lack in other departments (penis size/length, outlook on present/future life, inability to maintain a steady girlfriend of at least average looks, etc.), and use the fact that they rode the Richard of a once successful football team as a means for obtaining attention. Let’s be realistic, is there really any other reason as to why you like them? You can make some retarded reason up, but the bottom line is that you are the same type of person as these kids who currently “like” the Colts and Patriots. You’re retarded, and annoying. Arguments such as “we beat you all…” are useless because you did not do anything. Some football team from Dallas might have, but you did not do a thing. Fans of local teams can say that because in our case, “we” stands for Washington, and we are residents of the Washington metropolitan area, which is the city/area that the team plays for.

Looks like I win again.

Messy Hair

2007-10-27T07:08:00.000-07:00

Now I dont have long hair or anything so when I sleep on one side the hair usually ends up sticking straight up, and the problem cannot be fixed without water, which means I would probably have to wash my whole head over again, re-gel etc. That would take way too long, as I usually have something to do following my nap.
I've noticed that anytime I take a nap, whether it is a 30 minute nap or a 3 hour nap, my hair will stay in tact. If I sleep for the night, my hair will ALWAYS mess up. I can sleep at 3:00am, wake up at 6:00am, and my hair will be crazy. If I was to sleep the same amount in the middle of the afternoon I would wake up ready to go because for some reason it just doesn't mess up during the day. No jokes, no sarcasm...just an interesting fact.

I got the hook up...

2007-10-21T17:30:00.000-07:00

So I know most of you all have been out to a restaurant/bar/club where a friend has been the waiter/waitress/bartender, and have gotten "hooked up." In most cases you go have dinner, the soft drinks are left off of the check and you're left to think you saved some money. In reality, you feel compelled to leave a better tip (which you should do anyways if the person serving you is an acquaintance/friend), and dont save any money, giving your friend the extra dollars you leave as a tip. There's nothing wrong with that, but let's say you decide to leave a regular tip after receiving this hook up. Would you be a dick for not giving more after you were not charged for sodas? What if you don't know the person serving you and they hooked it up anyways? (In many cases a younger server will take something off of the bill for a group of younger patrons)

This past week a girl I used to work with at the gym was my server. She didn't charge me for our sodas, saving be about $3.50. I left her $12 on a $28.00 bill, which is about 45%. Had my soft drinks been left on, my bill would have been about $32.00 and I would have probably left the same amount ($40.00). What she did was make herself an extra $4, while making me think she helped me out by not putting my coke on the bill. Tricky huh?

What about when someone you know is bartending? In my experience with that, the person tending bar usually tells me to come out to the place where he/she will be working to help him/her out. I go with some friends, and my friends are expecting to get free alcohol or a lot of alcohol in their drinks (which I dont understand, cause I dont really think alcohol tastes good and would find a drink more attractive if it tasted good while still getting the job done), but is the person tending bar expecting us to pay for every drink AND leave a super tip? If so, why did we even come? I mean I understand the whole support thing, but is it worth me spending my hard earned money on drinks and paying extra cause I have to tip you more then I would the regular bartender? I'm not T-Pain homie...ah hah.

Girl...

2007-10-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

I dislike it when girls write comments to each other on Facebook/MySpace or just while talking online in general and start it off with "Girl."

An example would be: "Girl, I better see you at the party!" or something like "Girl...I would do the same thing if I was you."

The reason I dislike it is because 89% of the females that write it (I have researched for years, so my number is very accurate), do not actually ever say the word "girl" in that context in the beginning of a sentence. Imagine some of these preppy white broads coming up to each other and saying "Girl... I have to get my Benz washed!" They don't... so it's retarded to say it in those online situations as well.

People may say that I say things in those online situations that I may not say in real life, and the bottom line is that we are not talking about me right now. I don't really do things that I don't like, so i'm pretty much cool with everything I say or do.

Girl...i'm going to bed, and yes it is 9pm.

A/C

2007-09-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago, my AC stopped working. It has made my life miserable. I come home from a hard days work (in a workplace that does NOT have working AC) and sit in more heat. I prefer to keep busy and go places, because I love the feeling of my air conditioned car.
This leads me to the point of today's post (I refuse to call it a blog, even though it is unfortunately a blog). Don't you hate it when you get into one of your friends cars when it's like 90 degrees and they have their windows down. Now I wouldn't mind if there was something wrong with their AC, but their AC works perfectly fine, they are just "saving gas." Relaxxxxx. You're not really saving too much by keeping your AC off. You may get an extra mile or two at the end of the day, which doesn't really do much. The only thing it does is show how cheap you are, and how you will sacrifice not only your own comfort, but the comfort level of whoever is sitting in the car with you. 98% of the time it is a male friend doing this, because I don't know of many girls that will do that to their hair, but more specifically it's male friends with shaved heads or very short hairstyles that are not affected by the wind. Now I don't have long flowing hair or anything, but many times I gel my hair and would like for it to stay where I put it. Going down the highway sweating, with wind in your hair doesn't really do that. Not to mention the stickyness and sweating that it leads to. Is saving 73 cents really worth it? I don't think so... but maybe you have a better reason for doing it?