www.gburgallstars.com is back!

Big announcement today... the famous website www.gburgallstars.com has been back for about a week or so (with a much more mature and sophisticated look), and today I have signed a contract to return to the site as a writer. Many of you remember my work from the old Gburg All-Star site (the famous celebrity lookalikes, and AIM profile articles), and it's something I will try to re-create this time around. I'd like to thank those fans that have been following my writing since my days on the Inside The Squared Circle website, and hope that you all continue to read my new work.

Famous Redskins Fans

Here are some pretty famous fans of the Washington Redskins:

- Matthew McConaughey (huge star)

- Sugar Ray Leonard (former boxing champion)

- Dale Earnhart Jr. (NASCAR driver)

- Ron Jeremy (Porn star)

- Byron Leftwich (NFL Quarterback)

- Drew Bledsoe (Former NFL quarterback)

- Jim Brown (Football analyst/host)

- Damon Wayans (Comedian/actor)

- Wanda Sykes (Comedian/actress)

- Richard Petty (Racecar Driver)

- Keenan Ivory Wayans (Comedian/actor)

- David Aldridge (Sports reporter)

- Leanne Tweeden(Model/television personality)

- Ronald Reagan (Former U.S president)

- Richard Nixon (Former U.S president)

- Darrell Armstrong (NBA player)

- Sean Astin (Rudy)

- Me (Really famous)

- Craig Biggio (MLB player)

- James Kleinsasser (NFL tight end)

- Larry King (Talk show host)

- Big Tigger (Radio personality)

- Cristopher Meloni (Stabler from Law and Order: SVU) Huge man-crush on this guy

- Tim Legler (Former NBA player)

- Ben Stein (Actor/political advisor)

- Scott Van Pelt (Sportscenter anchor)

- Tiki Barber (Former Giants running back)

- Hootie and the Blowfish (except Darius Rucker)

- Charles Gibson (Good Morning America)

- Ronde Barber (Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback)

- Oliver North (Political figure)

- Connie Chung (Television personality)

- Maury Povich (Television personality)

- Gene Hackman (Actor)

- Jerry Stackhouse (NBA player)

- Julius Peppers (Carolina Panthers defensive end)

- EB, JP, and Cakes (Radio personalities “Junkies”)

- Sandra Bullock (Actress)

- Denny Hamlin (NASCAR driver)

- Manny Ramirez (MLB player)

- Nathan Bergman (lead singer LIONIZE)

- Paul Tagiliabue (former NFL commissioner)

- Rachael Ray (Food network)

- Julius Jones (former Cowboys/current Seahawks running back)

- Jim Lampley (Boxing commentator)

- Thomas Jones (N.Y Jets running back)

- Anthony Anderson (Actor)

- Brad Johnson (Dallas Cowboys quarterback)

- Ebeneezer Ekuban (NFL player)

- Ryan Zimmerman (MLP player)

- Anthony Clark (Greg from Yes, Dear)

- Hurley (From LOST)

- Carmelo Anthony (NBA player)

- Dre Bly (NFL player)

And many more. Jump on the bandwagon now, before we win another Super Bowl.

Why I'm better than most guys

I thought I would take some time to tell you why I am better than most guys out there. Now wait… I know most of you are thinking “I already know why you’re better!” but you may not know every reason, so I’m just gonna shine the light on a couple of quick facts. If you feel you might get offended then do not continue reading.

#1) I make over 50,000 a year. I make this amount in 10 months. I’m also off on snow days and Jewish holidays.

#2) I have a relevant college degree. Having a college degree already puts you above people that don’t have one, but in many cases a person’s degree is not relevant. By that I mean they can’t get a decent job with the degree they have. Sure it took me 7 years to get my degree, but I also worked full time for 2 years during college and took 1 semester off while taking only 2 classes for 2 other semesters. I’ve also earned enough credits to put myself on a higher pay scale when I started my job, hence my starting salary of over 50k.

#3) I am not/have never been in the military. I think it’s great that some people join the military, but I also view it as sort of a cop out. Almost as if the people couldn’t handle real life so they left only to come back a couple years later and be in the same position they were in when they left. Maybe if you went to college off the bat, you wouldn’t be a 24 year old freshman. I’m sure plenty of people have their reasons for joining, and if so…great job, I’m very happy for you.

#4) I don’t sell cell phones at the mall. Sure you dress up for work, but does it really matter? I don’t have to rely on selling sidekick III’s in order to have a “good week.”

#5) I don’t work at a restaurant/tend bar. My parents had a restaurant for about 20 years and they lived a tough life. They were there from the time it opened to the time it closed. They had to worry when their lease was up and the rent was raised, etc. It’s not a good life, and I have great hours.

#6) I’m not a server. This is probably one of the most tiring/frustrating jobs, and doesn’t really pay well. So you made $165 on a Friday night…you also lost your Friday night, and had to literally serve people. I’m a grown man, I don’t serve anyone…and I don’t rely on others generosity to make a living. I also hate it when “servers for life” complain about the service at other restaurants and then discuss how they would do it better…F off.

#7) I’m pretty funny. You might get offended by some of the things I say, but a lot of what I say is pretty funny (especially if you know me). I’m pretty entertaining to be around. I don’t know many people that wouldn’t want a fun filled life with me.

#8) Also coincides with the number of inches I’m packing if you were to round it to the nearest inch. I think I’ve said enough with that one.

#9) I look alright. There are plenty of things wrong with me (I will get to that later), but overall I’m alright. The intangibles shoot me up the ratings scale though. I’m also a shade under 6 feet tall, which is just about perfect. I’ve never really met a girl I wanted to bang that thought I was too short, and I’m definitely not too tall for anyone so there it is. I’m pretty well built too…nothing too crazy, but fairly well built.

#10) I come from a good family/loving home. My parents are still together (which statistically means my chance at a failed marriage is much lower), and my family is close. I’m also Greek and was going to give that it’s own category cause it’s much better than being from many different other places, but I will just add that to this.

#11) I don’t do drugs. I don’t smoke weed (I have done it a couple times in the past). I don’t do cocaine or shoot anything up (never have). I don’t take steroids (I have purchased them before, but I never ended up taking them cause I’m a vagina). I barely drink (I will have a couple drinks when I’m in the mood, but that is rare). I don’t smoke cigarettes (I’ve never even taken a puff).

Now a lot of you are already “hating” and are probably thinking of all the things that are wrong with me, so I will save you the hassle and go through everything myself.

#1) I have a large nose. It’s pretty wide. There are not bumps or hooks or anything like that…it’s kind of like a white version of 50 cent’s nose. Something like that… I could fix it if I wanted to, but I feel nose jobs are very noticeable and make people look stupid for life (like this one Persian waitress at Mama Lucia’s on Shady Grove).

#2) My hairline is receding at the temples. Both sides are going back. They started early, when I was about 20, but have stabilized so it looks like I will have hair for a while. I could also fix that, but I am not interested in doing so right now.

#3) I live at home with my parents and I’m 25. I also don’t spend money on almost anything. I’d be pretty confident in putting my savings account up against most peoples. I’m also an only child and will be inheriting everything, which may not be millions, but does include two homes in Greece and a good chunk. I’m hoping that does not happen for a very long time though, and we can still put those homes in Greece to use ya dig???

#4) I don’t have abs. It’s not too big of a deal, and I haven’t had them since I was about 14. Maybe one day I will have them (hopefully by next summer), but let’s be real… I don’t see it happening. I’m not fat by any means, but I don’t have visible abs.

That’s all folks…TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES

Facebook Observation

Currently, I’m at an age where a lot of my friends and acquaintances are getting engaged/married. As many of you know, I’ve been forced to stay inside the house for the last week, so I’ve had plenty of time to mess around on Facebook. During this past week I have noticed something about a lot of people I know that are taking the next step in their relationships.

Through the years I’ve come across many of my facebook friends profiles and have seen that they are involved in relationships. In many cases I noticed that the girl is a lot better looking than the guy is (I am not saying it is impossible for both members of the relationship to be good looking). As I'd glance at a couple pictures I'd wonder why she’s with him, and immediately assume I can bang the girl since I feel I’m better than the guy she is with. That’s not my point…

So I’ve been noticing all these people getting engaged and married, and rarely is it to the person they were with a couple months/years back. The girl has now traded up and immediately moved forward with her relationship to this better looking guy. This tempts me to see what happened to her old (and much uglier) flame. Assuming I know the ex, I look at his profile and in most cases see that he is with a girl that is a lot closer to his level, or just completely single. Usually these guys act a lot more affectionate with their new/ugly girlfriend. They talk about how much they love and miss them, and try to advance the relationship much faster than their previous and more desirable one. Sometimes it hurts my heart, but usually I just let out a light chuckle and think to myself how bad this guy must feel for fucking that one up. Sure he was probably tired of banging her, but knowing that she banged a whole bunch of better looking dudes after him and has now chosen to be with another one for the rest of her life must be pretty devastating.

Just something I noticed…hope it doesn’t happen to me!

Afrin Addiction

I’ve heard stories of people getting addicted to nasal spray, but I never thought it could happen to me. Guess what folks? It’s real…it’s damn real.

I’ve had allergies for as long as I can remember. They usually start in late April/early May and run well into the summer, usually stopping sometime in early late June/early July. I used to take Claritin-D, but it seems as if my system became immune to it because it no longer helped. Last year I discovered a nasal spray called Zicam. It worked wonders, allowing me to sleep without any congestion. When the symptoms began this year, I quickly headed to CVS and purchased a bottle of Zicam. It was working well (though no longer for the entire 12 hours), and I was fairly satisfied. When my bottle ran out and I returned to the store, I saw a product called “No Drip” Afrin Severe Congestion Nasal Mist. See, the only problem I had with Zicam is that the spray was disgusting and dripped down the back of my throat or even out of my nose soon after I pumped it in. It was not a big problem, but knowing that it can be eliminated nudged me towards buying the Afrin. As soon as I pumped in the mist, the cool menthol air filled my nasal passages and within seconds relieved any congestion I had. In all honesty I can say that I have never taken a breathe of air as clear as when I was on Afrin.

Things were going great, I had almost no symptoms from the allergies, I was breathing better than ever, and I found my savior…Afrin. Luckily, I decided to read the box carefully after about 5 days. There was a label warning users not to continue for more than 3 days. It had barely been 5 for me, so I wasn’t too worried, but I did decide to look at what may happen to someone if they were to continue use past the allotted time. I saw many horror stories from people with an “Afrin addiction.” Some people claim to have been addicted since the 70’s, with other claims ranging from a couple months to several years. No way could this happen to me…

I took what I thought would be my last pump of Afrin at 11:00am on Monday morning. Since I had read of the trouble I might be getting myself into that afternoon, I decided I would no longer use Afrin. By 8:00pm I began to feel slightly congested. I didn’t think much of it, and made my way over to my computer. By 10:00pm, I could not breathe out of my nose. When I would swallow my ears would pop, and when I would blow my nose the mucous would immediately replace itself.

I scrambled around the internet and read about what is known as the “rebound effect.” It occurred once you stopped taking Afrin (if you used it for more than the 3 days). The rebound effect consisted of your nasal passages pretty much shutting down, and not allowing any air to get through. The reason for that is because the Afrin was used to constrict the blood vessels in your nose so that the passages can get larger, allowing more air to get through. Once the Afrin was no longer in your system, the blood vessels grew larger than their original size, making it seem like mucous was blocking your passages. Though there was not anymore mucous in your nasal cavity than before, the small size of the passages made it nearly impossible to breathe out of your nose.

I read stories of people going cold turkey, and suffering for up to 3 weeks before their nasal passages returned to normal and they were able to have a good nights sleep again. I also read stories of people weaning themselves off of the Afrin by filling the bottle half way with Saline solution and slowly lowering their dose of Afrin, and increasing the Saline. The second option could also take weeks, and since I was only 5 days into my “addiction” I decided I would go cold turkey.

Midnight came and went, and there was no hope of me getting any sleep. It was now 2am I had to wake up at 6 for work. I filled my Afrin bottle halfway with a saline spray I had purchased and pumped a couple times into each nostril. The relief was not as great as when the Afrin was not watered down, but it was enough to allow me to get to sleep 10 minutes later. When I woke up I headed straight for CVS. I purchased Sudafed, Claritin-D (which had been ineffective for me last year), and a neti-pot (a pot used to clean out your nasal passages by pouring water in through one nostril and having it come out of the other). I used those all day and was able to get by without suffering the congestion I had the night before. I was able to sleep that night, and when I woke up I was no longer suffering. I continued to use the neti-pot and one 24 hour Claritin-D a day, and stopped taking Sudafed. It is now Sunday morning, and I no longer use the neti-pot or the Claritin. I have started taking a prescription spray called Veramyst (non-addictive), and a pill called Xyxal, which should eliminate any future problems I may have.

P.S

About 95% of the Jewish people I know go to an allergist. Out of all the other people I know, I would say less than 20% go to an allergist. I don’t know why that is, but I just found it interesting. I got my medicine prescribed by my primary care physician, not an allergist in case you were wondering.

Whiskey and Cigarettes

Sometimes when I take a pill (Tylenol, allergy medicine, etc.), I pretend whatever I am drinking it with is alcohol. When I swallow it, I close my eyes and act like it’s so good…just like in the movies.

I have never smoked a cigarette in my life…not even a puff. I have never even put a cigarette in my mouth jokingly. Personally, I find it trashy. Both of my parents have smoked in the past (my mom still does), and I just feel that it is disgusting. When I see girls do it outside of bars I don’t even want to look at them anymore. I know a lot of them think that its either helping them lose weight, or keeping them slim, but its not. A lot of my friends (who do not smoke), ask people for cigarettes when they are at a party or outside of a bar, and I have no idea why. They stand in the cold and puff on a cigarette as if it is cool, but it really isn’t. What classy girl would look at them and think, “Wow! Those guys out there smoking are really cool!” None would. The only girls that might find it attractive are the ones that are out there doing it themselves…and most of the times those girls are trashy. Stop smoking. Go get a college degree instead of waiting tables, snorting coke, and spending half of the $84 you made that night at another bar down the street that same night. Oh also, if you’re a server and then go out and complain about how bad servers at other restaurants are, it doesn’t make you a good server…it makes you annoying.

This was not intended to offend anyone. This was intended to let you know how I feel. If you feel that you fall into this category, I do not want you to come to me with excuses as to why you are this way. I would rather you take this opportunity to better yourself and not worry about what I think. I’m so controversial.

Words

I hate when people say/write the following words/terms and I don’t really have a good reason for feeling that way. I just find them stupid, and since I am always right, they are.

Douchebaggery

Debauchery

Chicanery

Shit show

Girlies

Chillaxin

I am away from my computer

Bro

Moco

Fry (“Ohhh you got fried”)

From this point on if you use them, you’re admitting you’re gay.